Friday, February 23, 2018

United Way's ReadUp Program




Yesterday, I had my first ReadUp tutoring meeting. It was wonderful. To know that you are helping young people to have a chance at a better life. Reading is the key to learning, it's an adventure that never ends.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Homework





This is the book I am working out of in my history class. Right now we are talking about civil rights. We are to explain how demands of the African Americans helped produce a stimulus for civil rights including President Roosevelt's ban on racial discrimination in defense industries in 1941. 

How African Americans service in World War II produced a stimulus for President Truman's decision to end segregation in the armed forces in 1948. 

Like I said, this is all new to me. Keep your fingers crossed that I pass this course.



Sunday, January 28, 2018

What's New Pussycat? by Carlisse Sanders






When I returned to school, this is what was waiting for me. I have never cared for history when I was a youngster, now here it is again, only this time they are talking about things I have never heard before in school. New things about old characters, things that once were good all of a sudden are not so good. This is really going to be a very enlightening journey. Oh, by the way, my language is beginning to change. I am using words that I have never used before. I have also discovered that there is a word that has 52 letters in it, I also read on the internet that there is a word that takes three  hours to pronounce. Yes, as I said this is going to be a very enlightening journey. Hang in there, I think this is going to be a bumpy ride.


Saturday, November 18, 2017

Moving On by Carlisse Sanders

     In about three or four weeks I will be a sophomore in college. It has been a very interesting and very informative journey. Not only because of the classes I am taking, but what I never learned in grade school and high school. New ways of talking and new ways of learning. How to deal with my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren a better way than what I have been doing. God give me the strtength to continue on this journey.

Thank all of you for visiting my blog, God bless and keep you strong.

thank

Sunday, October 8, 2017

How to Keep any Relationship Healthy By: Cucan Pemo




With all of the advice out there on how to rebuild your relationship, why not look at tips to keep your already healthy relationship in tact? There are plenty of things that you should avoid in order to make your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from unnecessary miscommunication as well as arguments. In fact, these tips can help you in every relationship that you have - read on.

DON'T be right all the time

There's nothing more frustrating in a relationship than a person who insists that they are always right. No one is right all of the time, and it's time that you realized that. It takes a much stronger person to admit that they were wrong than it is for someone to not admit that they may have made a mistake. Don't be the know it all.

DON'T refuse to apologize

You will have something that you need to apologize for at some point, even if you don't think that it's a big deal. When you allow your partner to hear that you are sorry about something, you allow them to see that you are willing to move past something in order to have a healthier relationship. And even if you don't think that you are wrong, apologizing is a great way to start fixing the situation instead of making it worse.

DON'T know the other person better than they know themselves

If you've ever been in a fight or a discussion when another person has claimed to know what you want, doesn't that feel upsetting? You want to avoid doggedly trying to prove that you know more about the other person than they do - because that just isn't the case. Take the time to consider their feelings and thoughts when they tell them to you. To not let them have a say is to make the conversation one sided.

DON'T assume anything

When you start to assume something, you start to chip away at the truth. IF you want to know about something, the other person is going to have to tell you what you need to know. Assuming that someone feels a certain way or that they want you to do a certain thing is only going to set you up for possible problems. Assuming is really just guessing.

DON'T rub it in

If you do find out that you are right about something, you don't want to constantly rub the fact in long after the discussion is over. Your relationship isn't about someone being right; it's about the two of you being happy. If you're right, you're right, but then you need to move on. Your partner will not appreciate being reminded that they were wrong.

DON'T put your priorities first

While you both want to have your needs and wants addressed, when you try to focus more on your own needs than your partner's needs, you will be seen as selfish and uncaring. A relationship means that you are putting someone else's needs before your own, and in doing so, allowing your needs to be fulfilled as well. Seek out their needs to see how you can compromise to make both of you happy.

DON'T interrupt them

When you're trying to make a point, you might feel that your words are more important than theirs, but this is not helpful. If you are interrupting what someone else is saying all the time, two things happen: one, you're not hearing what they are saying, and two, you are showing that your opinions are more important than theirs. Instead, stop yourself and make a mental note to bring up your point when they are finished.

DON'T make promises you can't keep

You aren't going to be perfect, but when someone is counting on you to help maintain a good relationship; you need to be able to hold up your part of the bargain. This means that you need to be able to make promises that you can keep. And when you do make a promise to someone, they need to be able to expect that you will follow through - every time. If you can't make a promise, then let them know that you will try your hardest, but that you can not promise it. This allows them to have realistic expectations of you.

No relationship is perfect, but there are plenty of ways that you can keep it from becoming unhealthy.
Author Bio

Addictions In Relationships: Addiction to Alcohol By: Cucan Pemo





 There is no relationship that can breed more frustration and unhappiness than a relationship where one of the partners is an alcoholic. Such a relationship will be marked by constant arguments, financial turmoil, emotional blackmail and even physical abuse. It is a relationship where one partner is always at the receiving end, and lives on the hope that the addict will kick the habit one day.

What to expect in such relationships

These relationships can only bring unhappiness. There is bound to be loneliness, despair, and at times rage at what the addict is doing. There will also be constant confrontations. But these confrontations instead of driving the couple apart, often unite them.

This happens because of the helplessness displayed by addicts. The addicts break down at such confrontations pleading helplessness and beg support. They also make promises of moving away from the addiction, and never to hit the bottle again. It is this helplessness that pushes the other partner to provide the necessary emotional support. Unfortunately, this cycle of support-confrontation-support keeps getting vicious and vicious only.

Why can't individuals break out of such cycles

Most would think that there is enough reason for a suffering mate to walk out of such a relationship. But this does not always happen. The partners invariably find a reason to stay on. This may be on account of fear of a future without financial security, an obsessive love for the mate, a fear of public disapproval or the need to keep the family together. 

Sometimes the partners convince themselves that without them the addict will die. They therefore avoid doing anything that may hurt the addict. Some even convince themselves, that they alone can help the addict give up the bottle.

Whatever the reason, the partners convince themselves that they need to stay on, and that everything will be fine one day. The addicts make full use of such prevarication, and indulge in more emotional blackmail, and subtle arm-twisting. 

How to identify if you are such a person

You are in danger of entering into such a relationship if you show the following characteristics:

1. You refuse to end the relationship even though you know that the relationship is bad for you, your career and your personal life.
2. You find reasons for sustaining the relationship even though you know that your logic is convoluted.
3. The thought of breaking the relationship throws you in a state of confusion, even panic, and you cling on, even more strongly, to it.
4. You suffer physical discomfort when you try to move to a place where your mate can't reach you, and you yearn to get back to him.

What should you do to save the relationship

You first need to strengthen yourself. In this quest, you should not allow your morals or principles to weaken your resolve. Be ruthless in dealing with the addict. Treat addiction as a disease that needs to be cured. Don't give in to emotional blackmail because then you will only end up feeding the disease.

Look upon yourself as an equal partner in the relationship. Don't be manipulated into believing that you are the rescuer or a victim of an unfortunate relationship. Let the addict know that you have no desire to become a martyr for his cause. You must make sure that you do not accept the lies offered by the addict. As any psychologist will tell you, addicts are very adept at coming up with explanations that sound very convincing. This is how they delude themselves into continuing with their addiction, and forcing their loved ones into becoming unwitting partners in their addiction game.

You need to find a support group that understands your pains and sorrows, and can also help you overcome them. You will realize that you were blundering in a maze in your effort to salvage the relationship. The support group will show you the path to come out of the emotional maze that your subconscious mind has built, and also give you the strength to take that path.

You should even consider getting professional help. This may sound shocking to you initially because it is not you but your addict mate who needs professional help. But counseling can come in very useful in such a situation. It will give you the necessary emotional and mental strength to tackle the relationship blues.

Don't stumble from crisis to crisis

You must give yourself sufficient time to either salvage the relationship or get out of it. Don't become a slave of the addict because it will only suck you deeper and deeper into a world of unhappiness.

If you realize that you can't change your mate then you must walk out of the relationship, however painful your action may be. You should feel no guilt or remorse because you gave the relationship the best shot possible. 

Now it is time for you to rebuild your life.

Dating After Loss of a Spouse By: elaine williams



 When a relationship ends due to one partner dying, what is the correct time period to begin dating again? Grief is such a funny, unpredictable animal. Many people in years' past think a year is a suitable time to wait before incorporating life changes, and yet for many of us, a year into our loss - we're barely getting started on our grief journey. My experience has been that people and perhaps society as a whole, do not allow enough time or thought to the actual grief process. There is no quick fix or "getting over it" and moving on. We all move through grief in our own ways and means. There is nothing by formula that we can follow or hope to happen. Talking with others who have experienced a similar loss is definitely a plus.

Some days the road is more difficult than others days. At times, you feel enveloped in a mist of uncertainty. Even small decisions can sometimes stretch past your point of coping.

Personal decisions are just that, personal. What is suitable for anyone must be decided individually. Sometimes you have to let go of preconceived notions of the correct way to act and grieve. 

I began dating too early, about a year after my husband passed away. I was incredibly lonely and in a real oxymoron, I was determined to be happy again, at any cost to myself. So, I started dating through online sites and I kept attracting the wrong type of man. Takers, emotionally unavailable, surface daters, serial daters, men who mirrored my own uncertainty about my readiness to date again.

None of these connections turned out to be anything substantial. In a fog of grief, I yearned to find someone to love, and yet I knew these men were wrong for me. They were just a short ride on a ferry to nowhere special. It was brought home to me gradually, through my dating experiences, that I had to value myself more than what I was doing. I couldn't settle with a partner just to have someone in my life. I deserved more. My dates deserved more than someone still traveling through grief. 

In those early days, I was as unavailable as the men I dated. If I had realized this, perhaps I would have run fast in the opposite direction, but in two instances I hung on to a flagging relationship, hoping things would change. Of course they did not.

Gradually, I came to realize that I had to stop setting myself up for disappointment in relationships. How could I attract the right partner, unless I was equally ready for a commitment?

I made the decision to bring my standards up to a new level and part of this process involved not dating for over a year. Only then did I start meeting the quality of man that my higher consciousness demanded. I was no longer wasting my time, or theirs, in surface dating, where both of us knows after one date there is no chemistry or real interest.

We all deserve better for ourselves than settling in a relationship just to alleviate the loneliness. It is difficult being alone when you are used to so much more, but I have chosen to remain so until the right partner comes along. It's a personal decision, and for me, there is no other choice.


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Worn Out



Working these double shifts is a monster. Me and cuz are worn out.

Work Today?



Do we have to go to work today? I was going to watch my soaps .




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